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"What sort of personal affirmations must be made regarding the much touted claim that I suffer from some sort of memory impairment disorder?"

From day one of my becoming aware of the investigation, and especially post discussions with certain friends of mine from long term Houston social circles, I have known that the investigators have pushed the rumor that as well as the dozen other sorts of bizarre behaviors I supposedly display on a daily basis, I as well suffer from some strange, as of yet, unnamed aberration of memory.

This myth is absolutely essential to the behavioral science groups objective of court mandated jurisdiction in psychopathological study and investigation. This myth, pushed on communities, coupled with a successful set-up (detonation event) of some kind that carries with it any sort of disturbing implication, would just about guarantee that goal being met.

Therefore, I state the following regarding those types of memory impairment that I have heard (rumor mill, etc.) the investigators might attempt to force as fact upon my person.


Biological Causes of Memory Loss

To the best of my current knowledge, I do not suffer from any sort of biological illness, be it lupus, brain tumors or otherwise, that could theoretically or literally cause severe or even mild memory impairment of any kind.

This statement is based only on the absence of occurrences of memory loss, more so than on the fact that I've had tests done to prove that all known illnesses which affect brain biology are absent from my system; this should go without saying, but I thought I'd say it anyway.

Furthermore, the issue of Lupus, according to certain persons who have confided in me there awareness of the investigation, is and has been a convenient rumor mechanism in the hands of the investigators as I do have a very mild case of another auto-immune disorder known as vitiligo. Vitilogo is a harmless, non-contagious auto-immune disorder that occurs for no known reason, wherein the 'sufferer' experiences loss of melanin cells; this loss can be so mild as to be unnoticeable or it can be quite severe.

Each of you viewing this page has probably seen an African American or Latin person, or any person of darker complexion, with random white spots and patterns over his or her physical person; this is vitiligo.

Again, vitiligo is only cosmetic; not harmful in the least and certainly not contagious.

For the record, my case of vitiligo, insignificant as it may, developed after laying nude in a tanning bed, about 18 years ago, when I was 20 years old. From what I've found via research, such triggers involving ultraviolet exposure are fairly common, especially during periods of high emotional and nervous stress, which, my early 20's certainly were ... but that's another story altogether ...

Though harmless, vitiligo can have quite a debilitating cosmetic affect, especially with persons of darker skin tones. Thankfully, my case is in a typically unexposed area and is quite mild; for the record, my case has been diagnosed, on a number of occassions over the past 18 years, by my personal dermatologist.

The point of mentioning this is that vitiligo is in the same family as Lupus (auto-immune) and if possible, the investigation would attempt to make a case for lupus, or at least the need for an extensive investigation of such, as lupus, like the drug PCP, counts among it's hallmark symptoms, possibly severe amnesia (not to mention psychosis similar to schizophrenia, again, just like PCP).

Having briefly studied lupus, I feel fairly confident in saying one who suffers even mildly from it would be aware of it's presence. Though exceptionally hard to diagnose, it's symptoms are quite identifiable, even in the sporadic instances of such ('flare-ups,' etc.) that lupus sufferers reportedly experience. These symptoms include chronic arthritis, recurring skin rashes, severe and regular bouts of fatigue, and when lupus affects the brain, mild to severe memory black-outs and various other changes in personality ranging from excessively withdrawn to wildly psychotic. This, at least, according to the books.


Chemically Induced Causes of Memory Loss

I do not occasionally, nor have I ever experienced what is termed a "black out," while consuming alcohol or while using any other sorts of mind-altering substances; it simply has not happened.

This must be stated plainly here as I do, on a semi-regular basis, drink beer, ... ale, to be more specific; in fact, I intend to actually brew an ale in the very near future.

Not that I am feeling defensive or anything, but moreso because it should be stated in the context of this memory loss bullshit, I must say that, on average, I drink 2 to 4 pints of ale a week, sometimes even two pints in one night! ooooooo scary, I know. Of course, I mean to indicate, that my consumption of alchohol is rather moderate.


How Would I Know?

If one were to argue, "well, how would you know?" ... this based on the fact that if you blacked out, that would imply that you couldn't remember and so then, how would you even know that you had a black out? I say, because that would mean there would have to exist, in my near or long term recollection, some gap or period within which I simply could not attest for my perceived actions.

Furthermore, there would be others to attest to some order of my own actions, be they harmful or benign, which I, upon being interrogated around such, would claim to not be able to recall, even if it were something as simple as supposedly staring inappropriately at young women in public or some such nonsense.

So, considering these two affirmations, why have the investigators worked so hard to build the false impression that I might suffer from regular memory impairment?

For the answer to that last question, please see the section of this site dedicated to discussing what I've found to be the primary objectives of the investigation.

There, it becomes a bit more clear; (if only to me).


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